The Gift

I teach first graders how to write and read. When the year starts, those 40 little 6 year olds don’t  remember me from seeing me last year on the hallways or from coming to their classrooms sometimes to talk to their kindergarten teacher. They do not know me. But I have a plan, a goal to have all those kids reading and writing by the end of first grade. During the first month of school I strive to develop a good relationship with each one of them to help them to trust me. They need to trust that I will teach them the right way to write the letters, pair them together into syllables, and to eventually write a sentence. They need to trust that I will show them the right way to pronounce each letter, the right way to pair them together to be able to read three letter words, and eventually read that sentence that they write. But they also need to trust me when I tell them that they are getting better, when I show them that even though they made a mistake, they are progressing. They need to believe me completely when I tell them that I love them and that I love their everyday efforts to write “mama” , even when they make mistakes. After that first month I have all the student’s trust. Then I start teaching them sounds and names of the letters. In all my years of teaching I have found that there are always one or two that doubt.  Not so much in my ability to teach them, because they are 6 years old after all, but they doubt in their ability to learn, to get better, and to become what I know they can become by the end of first grade. Those are the ones that give up by the end of the first month of learning letters. But I love them anyway, and I give them another chance. There are also those who get distracted by outside influences. They decide to give more attention to those influences than to me, so by the end of that first month they have not learned the letters because they have not done their work. But I love them anyway and I give them another chance. I also have the ones that work hard, do their best, listen to my instructions but when they make mistakes they get disappointed. They feel like they are not good at writing and reading, they listen to those outside voices that tell them that they are too slow, or too dumb, or that they will never learn because of this or that factor. They are embarrassed to show me their work on a very dirty, overly erased piece of paper. They think I will be mad at them, that I will not let them do it over again, that I will stop loving them. By the end of that first month they have learned some of the letters, but they feel disappointed and put themselves down. But I love them still and I give them another chance. On the other hand, I have the students who do their work, listen to me, believe in me, trust me and are accountable for their own mistakes. They don’t give up if they can’t write the letter “m” on Monday, they just keep erasing and trying, until they rip their paper. Then they come and ask me for a blank, clean one, and they start over again. They know I will not get mad at them for ripping the page. They trust me enough to ask me as many times as they need to for that clean, blank new piece of paper.  By the end of that first month, they are able to write and read words on their own. They  usually start writing with invented spelling, and I still love them! When it is time for me to do an assessment, I know these kids well, and I love each one of them as my own, I know their struggles and their needs. When I do that assessment of each one,  I know what they have gone through during that learning process. My heart aches for those that feel like they can reach the mark. I show them how they can, and we make a plan to start over again. I show them more love, more patience. I show them I am there for them. My heart also aches for the ones that decided to play instead of work, but I love them anyway, and I give them another chance to succeed. And the ones that did great, I show them my love and I challenge them to do more. I ask them to go and help those that are struggling, because they can do it already.

Today, in church I was reminded of this at a spiritual level. How I am that first grade student coming to this life without remembering my Father in Heaven. Along the way He shows me His plan for me to become what He knows I can become. He shows me how I can have faith in Him and believe in Him and His plan to be what He knows I can be. He is the teacher.  Along the journey of my life I have been the student who has doubt. I have doubted my ability to be what He wants me to be. I have doubted Him and His plan, but He has loved me anyway and has given me another chance. I have become distracted with work, friends, entertainment. I’ve listened to worldly influences so much that I do not feed my Spirit, and I am empty  at the end. But He reminds me  of His great love, of His great plan of happiness and He gives me another chance.  And when I  have made mistakes, when I haven’t reached the mark, and I am feeling ashamed; when I have worked hard but fell short, and feel disappointed; when I don’t even feel like I can go to Him because He might be mad or disappointed at me He shows me more love, more patience , more compassion. And then he shows me His plan again and gives me another chance. When I do great, when I keep His commandments, He shows me His love and He challenges me to do more. He asks me to go and help those around me that are struggling because I  know how to do it, I can minister  others.  I was reminded today of the great gift of repentance, and his great love for me. I can say that I cherish the gift of repentance and I am so grateful for His eternal atonement for me and His love and patience to this very imperfect first grade student. 

My Life is not a Pinterest Board

Have you ever found something super awesome on Pinterest and said “I can totally do that” and when you do it it is a total “nailed it” fail?

I have, many, many times! But do I give up? Never, I just keep trying, and once in a while I get a good Pinterest worthy thing to show off.

    

Today I was thinking that sometimes people get down on themselves because they expect their lives to be like a Pinterest board, perfect without any “nail it” s on it. I told my daughters today as we read the scriptures, “ don’t ever worry about what others think of you, just worry about what Heavenly think of you.” Your life is not a Pinterest board, you will have lots of “nail it” s in your life, but it is ok, keep trying, because among all those ‘“nail its” there is going to be many successes, many perfect pictures, many times when you will give yourself a pat in the back for a job well done. You are a daughter of Heavenly Father, you have His divinity in you, if that doesn’t make you see how much you are worth, then I don’t know what could. Just knowing that You are His daughter, His child, should make you be different, be happy, should give you the power to try and try and try again, should make you see others with more love, compassion and patience. Because He made you. Take your time to be what you are supposed to be, make mistakes, learn everything, or at least try it, take that dance lesson, bake that cake, make that hat, explore everything! And while you are at it think that it is ok if it doesn’t look like or is like a picture perfect , Pinterest worthy thing, but that next time you will do better. Beauty can’t be rush, or would you rush a rose to bloom faster? (One day at a time   show) I hope we could remember this and give others the chance to bloom at their own pace, and stop the judging, the hate, the comparing one with another, but start loving more, and comparing ourselves with our yesterday self and stop thinking that we should be like a Pinterest board full of perfect accomplishments because we are not! But we can become perfect, eventually! https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/10/be-ye-therefore-perfect-eventually?lang=eng

Changes

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” Henri Bergson

Changes are never easy. Some are harder than others. Most of the times we go through them kicking and screaming. Last year, I reluctantly packed all our stuff and moved to Alabama, and within a month it became one of my favorite places with some of my favorite people. I was ready to settle, I was ready to call it home. But Heavenly Father had different plans for us. Another change, another move, another summer packing, and this time, I packed all our stuff, not kicking and screaming, but sad and scared. We were moving to Utah!

One of the things that me and my husband have in common was our total desire of living everywhere in the US but Utah! We always wonder why our friends were moving to Utah.

But, to change is to mature, or so they say. We have been in Utah for about five months now and it has been a very challenging adventure. The kind of adventure that either breaks you or makes you better. Challenge number one, finding a house! We were already driving to Utah  and didn’t know where we were going to live. Until the heavens opened and showed us this dreamy “pink” house. It literally looked like something taken from a fairy tale or a Barbie movie. It was a crazy blessing! It was a hard change though because I really loved my house in Alabama, I loved our neighbors, I loved the wooden floors, the big windows, the spacious hallway, it was by far my favorite house. Nothing was good enough here in Utah after living in that house, until we came upon the “pink” house, and I realized how this change can help me appreciate other things like the freakishly beautiful view of the mountains right from our new backyard, the very well developed veggie garden than gave tomatoes to make salsa for an entire block of neighbors! The new neighbors whose kids felt right at home once they met my daughters and now come in our house like they are our own children, the weirdness of living in a house where once in a while strangers come to see if they can take pictures at because it is a famous house in this town (super crazy).
 We came to Utah the last day of the month at 3 in the morning, slept for a few hours and got up to go to our new jobs! Challenge number 2, getting use to a new job. It turned out that the distances from our new jobs to the town in Utah we thought would be nice to live at were longer and more tedious than we calculated back in Alabama. Once we started getting into the routine of driving to work we realized how much longer it takes to get from our new home to our new jobs and the stressed of traffic started setting in our shoulders. I have realized how much more angry I was the first weeks due to that and how much I have changed my perspective from getting there versus enjoying my drive to work. The first month or so, I was so stressed with the traffic, the drivers, the following the map, the time, etc, etc, that I got to my destination with stiffed shoulders and a frown on my face. But to exists is to change, and I needed to happily exists in my new environment without ending in the Psych Ward. So, I changed, I changed my attitude, I started listening to uplifting things while driving, paying attention to the things around me, amazing myself everyday with the beauty of the mountains,  which by the way, I think it is the cause of so many accidents in this highway, it is mesmerizing!

We have had other challenges, of course, but the most important thing of this change is that it is helping me become stronger, resilient and more appreciative of the small things that make me really happy!

Accent: Adventures with Language 2016, Part II

2016 brought us down South, Alabama! At the end of the summer we moved to a little town south of Montgomery, Alabama. We found a beautiful old house in the Historic District of Prattville. I had so many reservations and fears about moving down here, the weather during the summer, the schools' ratings, the lack of a Dual Language Program, among other things.
Six months later, I have no desire to move back up North. However, I have experienced very many interesting things here due to my accent.
My first experience happened at my younger daughter's school when I was there as a sub. A second grade classroom, 17 kids, all Caucasian, (According to http://prattville.areaconnect.com/statistics.htm 98% of the population here is white) so, not very much diversity in the school.
so, I come in, say good morning, and the first thing I hear back from a little boy is: "Why are you speaking Spanish?, we don't know Spanish here!" Kudos to him for recognizing my accent, right?!
I smiled and continue with my sub routine. He continued with his remarks throughout the morning, I graciously ignored him, especially because it wasn't hurtful, it was more like, why do you speak like that? Can you speak English now, until after lunch, when I asked him to start working on his paper instead of goofing around and he said: "what did you say, I don't understand you, I don't speak Spanish." My Hispanic blood boiled (a little) and I said: (with my best Hispanic accent) "I know what you mean, I can't hardly understand what you are saying with your thick Southern Accent!" And I walked away. The other kids laugh and told him to shush for the rest of the day!
I subbed at the school almost everyday of the school year. I learned to love those little first and second graders with southern accent! And they learned to love my Hispanic accent as well, I manage to include some Spanish teaching at the end of each day and by the end of the year I had a lot of kiddos asking me to say something in Spanish again! I think they were thirsty for diversity. My daughter was also bombarded with questions about the Spanish language, even my oldest daughter, who was in a different school, was able to show her skills speaking Spanish sometimes. She felt so proud of it and her eyes beamed when she told me her experiences.
I think my biggest problem has been understanding others when they speak, specially if they speak too fast and have a very marked southern accent. I had to go back to my strategy of nodding and smiling. 😉 It has been an adventure for sure!

Flourless Peanut Butter Muffins

I love that my girls love to cook! Today FOOSE decided to make some flourless Peanut Butter muffins. It is such an easy recipe that this is her second day they have done it. While we were busy making her video, Button made her own cake, I don't even know where she got the recipe, but she promises to make it again with a video. It must have been easy because by the time we were done, she was ready to put her cake in the oven, and oh boy, it was delicious!.

Back to the muffins, they are delicious too, easy and good for snacking or lunch boxes!

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Here is the video, enjoy!